Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

Elder abuse is rising. Even though my mother is bright and doing well living alone, which she prefers, she is a target just because of her age!    Mom is almost 88 and out and about going to clubs and driving friends around.  She lives in a major urban city and has since her birth.  The only help I provide for her is a personal assistant who acts as her personal secretary making appointments, reviewing mail and helping her with phone calls – because of her hearing loss she can’t understand accents or phone tree instructions.

 A week ago, she had a knock at the door. A woman asked to use a portable phone because she said she was locked out of her home.  Mom gave her the phone but of course the number was busy.  Then she asked for water and when my mother went to give her a cup the woman followed her inside making comments on how my Mom’s home reminded her of her Grandmother’s.  My mother became suspicious at this point and told her she needed to leave. However, the woman saw the candy dish and asked for candy.  Again, Mom says, “Take some and get out of my house.”, not knowing Mom’s purse was now under the woman’s coat!

 Mom of course had her keys, checkbook and credit cards in that purse.  She changed her locks with the help of a grandson, notified all the credit card accounts and the bank.  She has received two calls, one to cash a check for under $200 and another to charge $4,000 at an appliance store.  Mom stopped those transactions. 

 This is a lot of stress on an elder.  Thank God she has her personal assistant to help with all the paperwork that this event brought to her.

 The bottom line is, tell the elders in your life not to open the door for strangers – especially if they live alone.  The police officers told my Mom this and I hope she listens.  It is hard for her not to always be kind.

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

I had another professional ask me if we had any personal assistants/caregivers at Eldercare that could golf.  She has two men in her support group who love to golf – but because of their dementia they might slow down a serious group of golfers and their wives are not interested.

 What a wonderful idea as an alternate to a “day care” program to send these men out with someone sensitive and trained in dementia to be their partner for a few hours.   It won’t matter what the score is in the “moment” of doing something familiar and being able to laugh and enjoy the outdoors that will bring quality to these guy’s lives.  There is an additional cost to pay for the personal assistant, but community courses have reasonable greens fees.  And in the end this will not cost much more than a day in a care center with far more enjoyment for the aging golfer.

 I have suggested to many families that they find ways for the person with dementia to enjoy familiar hobbies and try to take the anxiety or stress out of the activity.   Golfing to enjoy the day (and not the score) as well as giving the spouse some needed respite sounds like a win-win!