Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

“Clean out a room, change your schedule and your social life- Mom is moving in.” 

 Your mother has had a change of status and can no longer live alone. You think it is best that she move in with you because you just retired and have the time to care for her.

 The desire and the passion to care for those we love sometimes pulls us to make decisions that can have a negative outcome to us and to our aging parent.

 Before you decide to have a senior family member move in to your home, there are many facets to consider and organizations that can assist with the process.  Do your homework, look at all the pros and cons before changing all of your lives.  Is the decision going to add to the quality of life for all involved?  Will it distract from what gives your life meaning or that of your parent?

 Eldercare has a checklist of important items to think about before making such a decision.  It you would like this checklist, send us your name and address and we will mail it out to you.

Intergenerational families can live together successfully but all parties must have their needs met and find peace in the arrangement.   However, sometimes families just haven’t explored all the options first and make this decision without knowledge of our supportive services.

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

It has been my honor, over the past 25 years, to help people make hard decisions such as giving up a home of 50 years for a retirement community or a downsized condo.  One comes to this decision from various paths; economic reasons, health concerns, loss of spouse or wanting to relocate near adult children.  Sometimes, just because home maintenance is too much and the senior wants to travel or have less of the “have to do” chores in their life.

 What I do know is that people who are socially engaged live longer and happier lives according to research.  That individuals who have purpose and meaning in their lives are healthier than their peers without purpose.  I also know that people who have had major losses through death of spouses or friends that continue to have meaningful lives live longer as well.

 So, if you or someone you love is facing this dilemma you should consider having at least one hour with a Professional Geriatric Care Manager who can help you with your list of pros and cons before making a major move.  It is often beneficial for the elder to have this conversation with an objective professional; so the end result is your decision and not influenced by family members’ or friend’s value systems. 

 More and more Baby Boomers are thinking long range and looking at options early in their “autumn” years.  Better to be prepared than have to make decisions in a crisis.

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

With the Baby Boomers aging what will the future hold?  Will they want what they want right now – instant gratification?  Some may choose more commune-like living – different from assisted living – more self-directed and self-governed living and create a new way to live.  They would have more control over menu planning and structured activities or entertainment.  And of course, all pets would be welcome, too!

 What would that look like for you?   I see four or five condos linked together with a common room or large family room for art projects, exercise and shared meals.  Each individual or couple having their own living quarters, maybe even their own patio or small raised gardens as well as a larger garden.  A shared housekeeper and maybe a few shared meals each week.  As individuals aged in place, they could share a caregiver to assist with personal care and, if couples needed respite from the care of an ill spouse, they could support one another with short respite care.

 I think that Professional Geriatric Care Management is a must for aging positively and pro-actively; I envision a Care Manager spending some time each of these pods of condos.  This professional could run community meetings, support those who need support and see that new candidates for each group were appropriate.  Also, the Care Manager would advocate for the residents when medical issues presented themselves.

 Individuals would “buy in” as is common now in other cooperatives and pay a monthly fee for the common area, housekeeper, garden upkeep and the Professional Geriatric Care Manager.   I realize I left out all the possible negative “what if’s”…but visioning is just visioning.  Aging in place my way!