When: Monday, March 12, 2012 | 6:45pm – 11:00pm

Where: KQED | Channel 9

What: On-Air Fundraising Drive during the KQED shows Il Volo & Change Your Brain with Dr. Amen

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

My heart and the mind are in conflict – a challenging choice.

Today the doctor suggests Hospice; a wonderful supportive process of ushering one from this life to the next, with dignity and comfort. My experience says this is a good plan as I have appreciated the wonderful care my clients have received from all the terrific hospice professionals over my 30 years in Geriatric Care Management.

But, for my mom, it can’t be that time – because I don’t want it to be that time. I want her in my life.   So do my brothers and all the grandchildren and great grandchildren. It is so hard to envision holidays and family milestones without her.

I have stepped up my advocacy for mom these past two years.  I know it was that advocacy combined with her never giving up that gave her the last year in Assisted Living in a lifestyle she enjoyed.  If she had stayed in her home I think we would have had to say our goodbyes long ago. One thing that has contributed to her 90 years is her ability to let go of stress and worry. With
every hospital stay she has never fretted or been anxious – is this a lesson for all of us?

I will need to embrace the circle of life because there is no alternative, despite my skills or incredible love for a good mother.

I will talk with the hospice team and with my mom about our choices but I will not give up on hope or the possibility of her bouncing back like she has done so many times before. For where there is love there is hope.

Mom is part of me and all my family so when she does pass from this physical life to heaven’s doors, she will live through each of us in so many little and big ways – we will never truly lose her.

Love is doing what we need, not what we want. Hard choices face us on this journey we share - life!

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

I sit listening to my mother snore – wondering, is this the trip she doesn’t return from? This is the 8th hospital visit in 13 months and she is almost 90 years old. I need to be realistic; this is my field of expertise and I know what the consequences are of her many diagnoses. Yet I can’t get that picture out of my mind of her walking into my office yesterday with one of my staff who had just taken her to a medical appointment for me since I couldn’t attend because I had a speaking engagement.

She was so happy to see me and the other staff. She always gets a certain grin that tells me she is proud of my achievements – it is a grin like no others. Who can give you that unconditional approval like a mother? Is this what I will miss – it feels self-centered to even think this because I know I will miss her for her always helpful advice and her deep faith in a loving God. Not to mention her love for all of her family.

She is a fighter and will not give in so I will stand beside her and help her understand her options and advocate for her at every step on this slippery journey.

All of us need advocates for, without them, our history might not be conveyed in ways that assist the medical team to treat appropriately. We also need advocates to see we can be gently ushered unto our next life, based on our values.

Being the guide when the ultimate outcome is loss and grief isn’t for the faint of heart but this is the role I play in mom’s life now, and it is an honor. I am fortunate she was, and is, my mother.

Thank you, kind and considerate medical providers who work in the ER!

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

As I move more and more into the role of a family caregiver and take my mother to her doctor appointments, I have been acutely aware of the conversations of daughters and occasionally a son to mom or dad.

Then I remember the last time I took mom to an appointment – seems to be about every 10 days to 2 weeks. Yes, even with 30 years experience I still answer those repetitive questions as kindly as I can and inside I feel pain for the mother I have lost due to the devastation of a dementia. I must admit I have the tools to use to divert and redirect the conversations, yet inside at the core of my being, I feel grief (and with a smile).

I don’t think my mother has a clue how her changes affect me – however she seems to tell each doctor, “I don’t have to worry, I have her” – she says as she points to me! And with that, I know my love is visible and my grief is hidden.

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

When: Tuesday, May 15, 2012 | 7:00am to 8:30am

Where: Rotary Club of Danville/Sycamore Valley | Crow Canyon Country Club | 711 Silver Lake Dr, Danville, CA

What: Aging Families: Dilemmas, Concerns and Resources

Working adults in the “autumn” of their careers find that they are juggling work and aging family dilemmas – causing loss of pay or employer dissatisfaction with their performance or absence. Baby Boomers facing retirement also face the realities of still having to care for parents or other older relatives – this “care” duty can detour their dreams of the envisioned “retirement”.

Linda will talk about major issues facing families locally or at a distance. She will give Rotarians a list of resources to help them navigate the maze of resources available in order to find help that will respect the dignity of the elder and bring peace to the adult child. Linda will also talk about the realities of living longer lives and statistics that will affect all of us as we age.

Linda Fodrini-Johnson is a Licensed Family Therapist and a certified, Professional Care Manager. She founded Eldercare Services in 1989 – the first full service Geriatric Care Management and Home Care company in the East Bay. She has been guiding, coaching and counseling families in the Bay Area for 30 years. Linda is the recent past President of the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers (NAPGCM).

The “Laugh, Love and Learn” Senior Live Well Forum on Friday, April 13, 2012.  This forum raises funds to help support the Pleasant Hill Senior Center’s Care Management Program.  This program is free to seniors and has the professional resources and staff to aid in preventing premature placement of seniors in nursing homes.

The program also provides resources for many more services including, but not limited to: grief support, bill paying assistance, errand assistance, yard maintenance, minor home repairs, Home Delivered Meals, in-home care, Board and Care Facilities and a number of social activities.

The fair takes place from 8:30am -2:00pm at St. Andrew’s Presbyterian Church, located at 1601 Mary Drive, in Pleasant Hill, CA.  For more information, please call the Pleasant Hill Senior Center at 925-798-8788.

Art of Aging Gracefully (AGRACE)