by Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC
I read a daily affirmation and meditation to start my day. Today’s topic was “Sacred Listening”. As I think about that statement of listening being “sacred” it causes me pause to think about how meaningful it is to each of us to have someone just listen to our pain, our worry, our joy. When someone is actually listening they are making eye contact, nodding and maybe saying a few words – they are not making judgement nor giving solutions.
The “sacred” listener hears from their heart and shares space with the other that is truly a gift to the one that needs to speak.
In my long career working with older adults, and younger ones as well, I can recall so many times after listening to someone without giving any advice or direction or empathy they have told me how much I helped them. Especially early in my career as a therapist and Geriatric Care Manager, I was surprised that I could be helpful without being active in an intervention or in the guidance to go deeper with whatever they were sharing.
It takes practice to be a good listener, but if you try this the next time your mom, husband, child, friend, co-worker shares a problem with you I think you will be surprised at their response. If you feel drawn to say something other than “umm” try a very simple active listening response such as, “Sounds like your doctor’s comments have given you information that is causing you worry” or “I hear that you are really concerned about taking that new job offer”.
Become a good listener – it is the best gift (could actually be sacred) you can give those you care about.
For more on being a good listener, click here to learn 9 things that good listeners do.