On Mother’s Day, Susan visited her mother at her assisted living facility. She brought her flowers and her mother responded with, “How nice! My daughter, Susan, used to bring me flowers.”
Susan was devastated by her mother’s inability to recognize her and left the visit in tears. Again, she experienced the pain of loss in her mother’s advancing dementia.
We are saddened when a loved one is struck with a disease that steals their memories. These poignant moments bring a myriad of emotions – from grief to anger.
How can families prepare for dealing with the changes that come from a chronic, progressive disease like Alzheimer’s? How can we learn to be in the moment and not let our own memories of the past affect the moments of pleasure of being with a loved family member who doesn’t recognize us or know where they are?
Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MFT, CMC, Founder of Eldercare Services says, “The most important step family members can take is to find classes or workshops to help them understand the progression of the disease and the progression of the grief process they will experience as their family member travels down the path of a dementia. It is important to remember the ‘joy of the moment’ might never be lost. The memory of the joy might be gone, but not the experience and pleasure the loved one may experience when receiving flowers or sitting in the sun watching children play in a park. This joy can be shared if the family member is willing to enter into the world of the person with dementia. It is challenging, but is a great gift to both individuals to learn to just be present and not be attached to the memories of the past.”
Eldercare Services offers free workshops, classes and Alzheimer’s support groups in their Walnut Creek, California location to help empower the family to navigate the progression of the disease and understand the emotional roller coaster this journey brings to families. This is a place where people can share their Alzheimer’s support experiences and feelings in a safe and supportive environment.
For more information on our Monthly Alzheimer’s Support Group or other classes and events contact us at (925) 937-2018 or visit our website at: www.EldercareAnswers.com.