Often, it is at the holidays with the elderly when we have the time to take that breath and observe what is going on in the lives of our older family members. We realize they need some help and we need a plan, because things have changed since the last family holiday celebration.
You notice memory problems in mom, and she is talking about investments that sound like she is being scammed. Dad is also showing signs of being confused. Naturally you might say, “Mom you need help, this looks like a bad investment.” She responds by saying, “You don’t know anything, I am perfectly capable of making good financial decisions. Just because you are a banker doesn’t mean I can’t manage”.
If this is the response you get from your comment, then it is time to put a strategy together so you can help, or at least see if mom is slipping down the path of a dementia like Alzheimer’s. Spending the holidays with the elderly may give you an opportunity to notice this.
Considering that 50% of adults over 85 have a dementia and dad is 86, and mom is 87, this could be what you are seeing. On the other hand, if mom can’t see well and Dad is doing all the cooking, and you notice they have both lost a lot of weight. You might be noticing evidence related to malnutrition and/or dehydration.
Get a good start by calling in a Professional Care Manager/Aging Life Care Expert, who has a background in social work, nursing, counseling, gerontology or a related field. They can do a quick assessment and refer you and your parents to a more comprehensive evaluation if warranted. The Care Manager can stay involved and keep you posted all year long, so there are no surprises next Holiday season.
Get started right with a certified professional – Eldercare Services can help you in the San Francisco Bay Area and the VillagePlan™ can help you in other areas of the country.
Love gets tough – and everyone deserves the best quality of life possible. Get started right.