Mom had a Stroke…Now What?

Posted in adult children, Age Related Issues, Alzheimer's, Blog, Care Management, Caregiving, Dementia and Memory Loss, home care, Relationships on February 25, 2011
Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

A few days ago, while staying with me, my 88 year-old mother had a stroke and has been in the hospital for the past 3 days.  It is surprising the scenarios that go through your head and the decisions you start making way before it is necessary.

Can she live alone? Should I insist she move closer to me? Can she drive? Is she a target of exploitation? Will a caregiver who lives-in take advantage of her? Should we spend all her savings on home care if that is her wish?  Will she regain her ability to speak clearly?

My brothers have opinions different than mine at times and I know they love her, but I have questions about why they think any different than me.  I am the Geriatric professional, but am I being selfish wanting her closer to me than in the city she was born in and has lived the past almost 89 years?

Mom is actually in good spirits and when the results of the MRI came back confirming the stroke and at least 4 prior strokes (we suspected but had not been given confirmation) she just smiled with half of her face and shrugged her shoulders saying, “Does this mean I can’t drive?”  Then we said, ”Let’s take this one-day at a time.”   What a wonderful spirit despite facing uncertainty.  I hope I can be like her if life throws me a curve ball.

She moves on to acute rehab today…

Seniors Being Discharged from Hospitals

Posted in adult children, Age Related Issues, Alzheimer's, Blog, Care Management, Caregiving, Dementia and Memory Loss, home care, Relationships on February 18, 2011
Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

When an aging family member is discharged from a hospital it is imperative that a responsible family member or a professional like a Geriatric Care Manager follow up.  About 20% of seniors who are discharged from hospitals end up being re-hospitalized because they were confused with the discharge plan or didn’t see their primary physician timely enough post hospitalization.

This is most important with those hospitalized for cardiac events, such as Congestive Heart Disease.   But, any trip to the hospital can result in major medication changes made by a hospitalist and not the primary doctor.  If the old medications are not tossed and replaced by the new orders, a patient could end up over medicated, which could result in death.  Also, it is important for the elder to follow other new instructions that might mean diet changes, exercise, therapies or other changes to the daily activities of life.  Without a coach, things can easily go south because the senior didn’t understand the importance of sleeping on two pillows or avoiding sodium (many individuals think only the salt shaker is salt – and don’t read labels).

Families at a distance, with seniors to oversee, should seek out the assistance of a Professional Geriatric Care Manager, even if it is for just a short period, to be sure they are compliant with new orders and that the primary care physician is brought up to date and concurs with the new orders.

Scam Busters for Seniors

Posted in adult children, Age Related Issues, Alzheimer's, Blog, Care Management, Caregiving, Dementia and Memory Loss, Elder Abuse and Fraud, home care, Relationships on February 15, 2011
Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

Geriatric Care Managers can be just the answer for the aging family member or parent who wants to stay in his or her own home, but lives a distance from you and is becoming somewhat forgetful.

Seniors are becoming more of a target for scam artists and opportunists.  Living at a distance from the person you love and want to protect is a worry for many families.  We want to respect the dignity of our aging family members, but we don’t want them abused or harmed in any way.  It can be a challenge to protect them without the elder being treated like a child. 

My mother let someone in her home asking for a glass of water and her purse was stolen. Not too long after that she got a call from someone posing as her grandson and she wired cash to him. This is “Elder Abuse” to a very bright, able 88 year-old.  And her daughter, me, is an expert in elder care issues – so scams can and will happen to the parents of us all if we are not diligent with our observation of those we love who are targets as they age.

Now my mother knows, she doesn’t send money to anyone, unless they talk with me and she doesn’t open the door for strangers.  But, my mother doesn’t have a dementia.  If your parent does, he or she is at even greater risk because the ability to remember to check in with you when strangers approach is not there.

One of the best ways to oversee from a distance is to employ a Professional Geriatric Care Manager to check in on a parent at least monthly and begin a relationship of trust so that the elder has a local person to call when the “deal” sounds too good to be true.  Also, families at a distance should call often and ask about each day – what did they do and who did they see?  When you hear about the stranger that befriends your aging family member, it is a time to bring in Adult Protective Services – but they won’t visit unless you have information that leads to an event of abuse.  However, the Professional Geriatric Care Manager will make that visit and assess the newfound “friend”.  Often these new friends disappear when they see someone is checking in.

Be safe, keep your senior family member safe – have checks and balances – because Financial Elder Abuse is on the rise.

Mom Needs Care and I’m Not Ready!

Posted in adult children, Care Management, Caregiving, Dementia and Memory Loss, Relationships on February 11, 2011

 

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

After 27 years of helping families understand and cope with dementia and/or memory loss, I find myself riding the same wave.  What I  notice sitting on this end of my career colliding with my family life is a feeling of denial and grief.

Seeing this resilient and very social mother of mine lose her ability to make sound decisions is actually worse than just memory loss.  This weekend I took her shopping to a favorite small discount store and she came home very happy and proud of her purchases.  She told me she bought a computer, a Blackberry for $3.99.  When I looked at the package it was a cover for a Blackberry!  I used all my professional skills and made excuses for her about the lighting in the store being bad and how easy that it would be to think this was a phone.  Then she showed me two blouses she bought for $1.00 (what a bargain).  However, the tag did say 2 for 1 – but the price on the back was $11.99! 

What concerned me is she didn’t realize her total bill was nowhere near what it should have been if the blouses were $1!   This is the information I didn’t want – it tells me she is at great risk for exploitation trying to live and manage on her own.

My brothers will call and help her to remember to take her medications, her personal assistant helps with the bill paying and I will now visit once a week and set up those medications.  But, to tell you the truth, I know it won’t be long when we will need to move her out of that big house and I fear (and know from experience) such a move will bring more changes that I don’t want to see or experience.

Life is full of “pot holes” that we didn’t see coming and find it hard to get out of.  I just didn’t want to feel as if I ever had to take control from my mother – but it looks like I will have no other options.

I pray I do what I need to do to preserve her dignity and give her some semblance of control over her life.  I am losing my mother and it hurts.

Why I Choose to Use Eldercare Services Caregivers for My Aging Family Member

Posted in adult children, Age Related Issues, Alzheimer's, Blog, Care Management, Caregiving, Dementia and Memory Loss, home care, Relationships on February 8, 2011

Sandi Gunnett, BS, Director of Staffing and Recruiting

Whether to hire caregivers to assist us or our family members through a reputable agency or by hiring privately is a question that is asked frequently. I personally am queried professionally and personally as I manage the Home Care Services for Eldercare Services. My day begins and ends steeped in everything from the recruiting process to the ultimate placement of a caregiver with our clients. 

While I certainly have the expertise to hire privately I chose not to for a variety of reasons. At Eldercare Services I am a member of a team which means that when I am handling any issue or process other individuals within the company, with expertise in a variety of areas, are there to assist me and collaborate with,.  We are always reviewing our processes to ensure we are doing our best.

I know the caregivers who are assisting my friends or family are not just hired but are selected by Eldercare, including thorough background checks, to ensure that the highest standards are met. The caregivers are trained and mentored by a team that includes Geriatric Care Managers with backgrounds in a variety of social service professions who have years of experience and who are held to a very high set of standards and accountability including the code of conduct and professional ethics mandated by the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers.

The employees who work in staffing and administration bring with them backgrounds that are diverse and professional in a variety of fields and we seem to recruit the best of the best which means any area of service is handled with a total quality management focus. Every employee of Eldercare is empowered to provide client-centered service.

I have first hand experience with the service at Eldercare.  Just the other night I received a late night call from a physician informing me that someone I was responsible for needed emergency medical attention which resulted in the need for some extra care. With a simple phone call, my family member was cared for round-the- clock by compassionate, professional, caregivers. I was able to go to sleep that night in my own house without worrying about my loved one.

The response from the on-call team and our assigned Geriatric Care Manager seemed effortless. While it seemed effortless, I know what happens behind the scenes and an efficient, professional process was taking place with a lot of work to ensure the request was handled well. This allowed me to focus on the issues that needed my attention because my family member was safe and cared for and I was receiving up-to-date reports. I was not cut off from the process and I felt as though I had a partner.  By informing me, using a consistently honest and open approach, I felt I had choices.

We, as consumers, should not hold the crisis alone.  We should be able to partner with those with expertise. Our Geriatric Care Managers and caregivers do not replace the family, we support the family.  Eldercare Services realizes that by caring for our employees we care for our clients and their families.

Fear & the Aging Process

Posted in adult children, Age Related Issues, Alzheimer's, Blog, Care Management, Caregiving, Dementia and Memory Loss, home care, Relationships on February 4, 2011
Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

Sometimes fear keeps us stuck in old routines even if they don’t work for us anymore.  The fear of falling could keep someone from exercising, the fear of loss of control could keep us in a home that doesn’t meet our needs and the fear of rejection could keep us from speaking from our heart and having a full life.

Recently, I heard the Rabbi Harold Kushner talk about fear and his new book, Conquering Fear.

One comment he made that resonates for me is, that “rejection destroys a person and is worse than fear.  It can destroy a person’s soul”.  How we deal with rejection will protect us from having our “soul destroyed”.   Rabbi Kushner said, “We need to remember that even the smartest people make mistakes and most important when dealing with rejection, don’t deal with this yourself – get professional help”.

Don’t let fear or rejection keep you or an aging family member stuck, talk it through with a Licensed Therapist and if you are an elder, a Professional Geriatric Care Manager who is also a licensed therapist is your best guide to assist you with some “re-framing” so you can live life to its fullest.   We have but one life and each of us should have a life of quality not just quantity.