As I move more and more into the role of a family caregiver and take my mother to her doctor appointments, I have been acutely aware of the conversations of daughters and occasionally a son to mom or dad.
Then I remember the last time I took mom to an appointment – seems to be about every 10 days to 2 weeks. Yes, even with 30 years experience I still answer those repetitive questions as kindly as I can and inside I feel pain for the mother I have lost due to the devastation of a dementia. I must admit I have the tools to use to divert and redirect the conversations, yet inside at the core of my being, I feel grief (and with a smile).
I don’t think my mother has a clue how her changes affect me – however she seems to tell each doctor, “I don’t have to worry, I have her” – she says as she points to me! And with that, I know my love is visible and my grief is hidden.