My mother said, “This is my mother” about me!

Posted in adult children, Blog, Dementia and Memory Loss, Relationships on May 25, 2012
Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

…or so she said as she introduced me to someone at her assisted living facility! I quickly said, “and this is my daughter” pointing to mom! And then we laughed but it got me to thinking.

Am I giving her too much direction? Am I bossy? Do, I do too much for her – especially things she can do on her own?

She is 90, she does have some dementia from strokes but despite short term memory loss, her ability to reason and make deductions is good. Now that she is on oxygen most of the time, she seems much sharper to all of us.

Sometimes it is what we do for each other in a family that gives us the “pronoun” we use to describe our relationship. I just need to remember to start asking my mother her advice or reminisce of when I was younger on my visits.

No matter what the deficits of our parents, we need to remember they are not our children and we can always ask for advice (even if we don’t truly use it)! When we allow the other to give to us, they don’t feel so dependent or like children.

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Time To Move Grandma: What To Do With Her Home?

Posted in News Articles on May 22, 2012

National Public Radio (NPR), May 22, 2012
Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC, lends her expertise to NPR Morning Edition on the emotional and financial challenges of moving a loved one and selling their home. To listen to the audio interview, click here.  Linda’s interview begins at 5:16.  To read the full article, click here.

Creative Ways to Turn Resistance of Daily Activities into Cooperation

Posted in adult children, Age Related Issues, Alzheimer's, Blog, Care Management, Caregiving, Dementia and Memory Loss, Relationships on May 9, 2012
Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

Those of us caring for an aging loved one know about resistance all too well. Sometimes it is beyond reasoning and begging to get our loved one to perform the simplest of daily tasks. I’d like to offer a couple of tips I’ve learned over the years to entice your resistant loved one in a positive way.

The perfect time to introduce the event you will need cooperation with, is when someone is in a good mood. We need to use creative ways to entice as well as introduce the action we believe needs to be done.

If you want someone to brush their teeth and they resist you, tell them it is time – it might be the time to bring flowers or a new picture into the bathroom and tell your loved one you want their opinion on it. While there, you put the toothpaste on the brush and say “Since we’re in here, let’s brush our teeth now, so we don’t have to do it later.”

You could almost do the same with bath time – sometimes having a scented candle (of course safely placed and extinguished when you are done) or soothing music playing in the bathroom is another way to get the job done.

Professional Care Managers are a great resource of coming up with creative solutions to problems of resistance. Contact our office to get a creative solution to your specific challenge.
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