…or so she said as she introduced me to someone at her assisted living facility! I quickly said, “and this is my daughter” pointing to mom! And then we laughed but it got me to thinking.
Am I giving her too much direction? Am I bossy? Do, I do too much for her – especially things she can do on her own?
She is 90, she does have some dementia from strokes but despite short term memory loss, her ability to reason and make deductions is good. Now that she is on oxygen most of the time, she seems much sharper to all of us.
Sometimes it is what we do for each other in a family that gives us the “pronoun” we use to describe our relationship. I just need to remember to start asking my mother her advice or reminisce of when I was younger on my visits.
No matter what the deficits of our parents, we need to remember they are not our children and we can always ask for advice (even if we don’t truly use it)! When we allow the other to give to us, they don’t feel so dependent or like children.