National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers

When Our Parents Become Sexual Beings on Our Watch

Posted in Blog on January 4, 2013

Eileen Zagelow, BA, CMC | Professional Geriatric Care Manager/Director of Care Management Services

Many jokes have been shared over the years regarding the idea of parents having sex. Everyone knows they must have but no one wants to think about it! And then one day there it is bigger than life!

I spoke with a daughter recently who received a call from a facility stating that her father was being sexually inappropriate with the caregivers. He was getting” overly friendly” in his words and in his touch. It was also reported that he now had a girlfriend and the staff had found them lying on the bed in his room on more than one occasion.

The daughter who was aghast upon hearing this, immediately shared the news with her brothers who were surprised, although not as anxious as she was about the report. And then she called me.

“Susan’s” father has dementia. He has been diagnosed with mid-stage Alzheimer’s disease and has always been completely socially appropriate. He never dated after his wife passed away 8 years ago. They were like “two peas in a pod” and this daughter was so taken aback that this was occurring and at this time in his life. She was saddened as she felt that the depth needed to engage in a “meaningful” relationship was lacking. The family had legal concerns as well.

It is so difficult and yet important to remember that sexual attraction is an innate part of our humanness. Unfortunately, loss of social inhibition can be a very large part of dementia. In addition, the need for partnership can be very strong for a person who is having much difficulty navigating through their memory loss and/or judgment issues, especially when the person has had a meaningful relationship previously.

As family members, we have to try to step back and view this piece of the process through a clinical eye or at least speak with someone who can assist in framing this picture more clearly. Most facilities are equipped to deal with such behaviors and have appropriately trained their staff. However, as with life, each situation is unique and may require a special care plan and/or oversight.

As a Certified Care Manager, I was able to assist Susan with her father’s journey and, by extension, with her own as well. Dementia can exhibit in many ways and is inconsistent from person to person. It is so important to digest and listen with a trained ear when sexual behavior presents itself. As with most behaviors, appropriate communication and environmental support are key factors in a successful care plan.

Research Shows Family Caregivers Want More Education on Caregiving

Posted in adult children, Age Related Issues, Alzheimer's, Blog, Care Management, Caregiving, Dementia and Memory Loss, Relationships on July 9, 2010

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

Watch this video blog: Research Shows Family Caregivers Want More Education on Caregiving

The National Alliance for Caregiving in collaboration with AARP did an extensive report on “Caregiving in the U.S. 2009”. The report shows that the increase for information and formal caregiver training has increased over the past 5 years.

What family caregivers want is more information and education on, is care recipient safety at home, easy activities to do with the person they are caring for, as well as how to choose a home care agency, assisted living facility or nursing home. A large portion wanted information on one subject and since the report showed an increase in those caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease – that is one of those areas we just can’t give families enough information and guidance.

It was interesting to me that families looked to the doctor for ideas on education and in our area very few physicians are aware of what is available in the community unless they were connected to a senior service of a local hospital. They also looked to their caregiving provider for information – however, not all home care agencies have skilled professionals to provide caregiver specific education.

Another surprising finding is caregivers expressed less desire for information about finding time for themselves. I am not sure how to interpret this – I would like to say that they all find time for self-care or at least more know of the importance of caring for oneself while caring for another. I hope it isn’t that they are overly focused on caregiving and have not thought about their own needed self-care.

See our website for the classes and support groups we have scheduled in our offices and in the community. We believe information is empowering.

Who is the Expert in Aging Care Choices?

Posted in adult children, Age Related Issues, Alzheimer's, Blog, Care Management, Caregiving, Dementia and Memory Loss, Elder Abuse and Fraud on June 29, 2010

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

There are so many websites leading in different directions, each touting they are the premier, largest, biggest, best option for aging parent home care, assisted living or even financial planning and legal advice.

Where does a family turn? How do families know they are getting someone who is working on behalf of them, with the central goal being quality of life based on client values?

The best way is to ask questions. The venture capital company that has just hit on baby boomer aging might be able to gather some health and human service experts – but do they know mom’s community or your community? It isn’t just expertise that you want guiding your choices, it is knowledge on ALL the local resources, knowledge of benefits, aging, care choices and most of all understanding the emotional toll this can bring to everyone in a family.

So, what questions do you ask? I think these are the most important ones:

1) How long has this company been in my community? Are they local or do they just have a national database?

2) How long have their “experts” been with the company?

3) Are these experts credentialed and certified by a creditable process (not a 30 hour course)? Do they have a license – if so, do they have years in the field doing aging or elder care work?

4) Do they take referral fees from outside agencies, facilities or professionals? If it is a “free” service you can assume so, if it’s not a non-profit or government agency, someone pays.

5) Is this person going to help you make a decision and help you see the pro and cons of each decision as it affects your family members?

6) If you are looking for an Elder Law Attorney, Financial Planner or Geriatric Care Manager, do they belong to a National Association that has standards for membership and certification?

Asking questions will lead you to where you will get the best guidance.

Mom Needs Care and Siblings are in Disagreement

Posted in adult children, Age Related Issues, Alzheimer's, Blog, Care Management, Caregiving, Dementia and Memory Loss, End of Life on April 30, 2010

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

Often we hear from families, that need services for a parent, that their brother or sister doesn’t think mom needs anything or they feel she needs 10 times the care she really needs to stay safe and well. This conflict can sometimes delay an intervention that would benefit all family members.

It is hard to accept that a parent is in need of an intervention due to cognitive decline that might impair judgment and safety. It is also hard to insist that a parent needs help who is physically frail but resists having help. Often this resistance stems from the unfounded idea that accepting care might be a signal that the family might try to move them from their beloved home. Having a consultation with a professional Geriatric Care Manager or attending a class for “family caregivers” often allows all the family to hear the same information and make more informed decisions.

Finding the right balance of services for mom, that allows her to retain her dignity but keeps her safe, should be the goal of meetings with geriatric professionals. Mom’s values will have to be considered in any major decision in order to preserve quality of life. It is important that families choose to work with someone who is certified as a care manager and a member of the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers.

Making pre-mature and not well thought out decisions can cause great stress to families – know your options, know the costs and look for solutions that respect the dignity and values of the older person.

The Centenarian Boom

Posted in Age Related Issues, Blog, Uncategorized on October 13, 2009

Professional Geriatric Care Manager, Anne Rosenthal, Ph.D., MFT, CMC

I recently attended the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Manager’s Regional meeting in Denver, Colorado with fellow Care Managers Linda Fodrini-Johnson, Nancy Hickman and Nancy Chaknova. One of the speakers was Janet Benavente, MHR, who presented a fascinating session titled, “Centenarians: Anticipating the Boom”. The following excerpts are from her talk:

Individuals living to age 100 and beyond are the fastest growing demographic in the world. Currently there are clinical and population studies in France, Hungary, Japan, Italy, Finland, Denmark, the United States and China taking place to determine the reason for this.

Researchers are looking specifically at trends, characteristics of centenarians, what centenarians have in common, what this means for society and what are the implications for professionals.

There are some characteristics that researchers are already finding such as:

Few centenarians are obese.
Substantial smoking is rare.
They are better able to manage stress than their peers.
Women who have a child after age 40 are four times more likely, than women who do not, to live past 100.
50% of centenarians have first-degree relatives or grandparents who achieve very old age.
Exceptional longevity runs strongly in families. (Brothers have 17 times greater chance of living to 100 and sisters have 8 times greater chance.)

Dan Buettner launched a study in 2005 to study and research small geographic pockets inhabited by the longest-living humans and found them in: Okinawa, the Nocoya Peninsula in Costa Rica, the Barbagia region of Sardinia, the Northern belt from Minnesota to Nova Scotia and in Loma Linda, California.

At present, the implications for professionals are to develop a better understanding of intergenerational communication since more generations are living simultaneously and to promote and advocate for access to health care across the life span including mental and dental health.

Since the rate of centenarians is growing faster than the birth rate, aging experts are promoting healthy lifestyle patterns for all.

Finding a Good Care Manager

Posted in Blog, Care Management, Uncategorized on August 12, 2009

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

On August 6, 2009, I contributed to a story in BusinessWeek, “The Elderly: Finding a Good Geriatric Care Manager“. What I would have wanted to add to the story is that just because someone has an educational degree or calls themselves a Geriatric Care Manager it is best to ask two important questions:
1) Is the professional a member of the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers at the certified level?
2) How long have they practiced as a care manager, not a nurse, social worker or other geriatric professional? Look for a minimum of 3 years before hiring a care manager.

Geriatric Care Managers have to be very aware of the health issues of aging, legal issues, family dynamics, local resources, overseeing home care and finding benefits and entitlements. This is a profession that requires critical thinking and staying as current as possible on all the issues presented to aging families. Most especially all care managers should have a good handle on dealing with dementia’s and the behaviors that challenge family members.

We can’t expect one person to know everything – but a good Geriatric Care Manager will know where or who to refer you so that you get your answers for questions outside their field of expertise.

Please see our website and look at the backgrounds of the Geriatric Care Manager’s that work for Eldercare Services.