I frequently come across individuals who are children of a negligent or abusive parent. The adult children are now dealing with elder care and have mixed feelings that are both conflictual and challenging.
It is hard to sacrifice time and energy and even dollars to someone who just wasn’t there for you. The feelings of resentment, anger, disdain and even guilt will color your ability to provide care. Sometimes these adult children try to overdo to get the love they missed in their youth only to be disappointed yet another time. However, there are often heartfelt stories of reconciliation and forgiveness leading to a more authentic, loving relationship. Help is needed to sort out one’s ability to care if your journey as a child included less than positive parenting.
What should one do if they face this issue? A few suggestions are:
1) Find a local support group for adult children of aging parents.
2) Seek professional counseling.
It is most important to recognize and acknowledge your own needs in order to get through the aging process with the best possible outcome for you and your loved ones.
Ali says
December 1, 2009 at 8:52 pmDave recalls his wretched childhood including the torture, physical and mental abuse that he sufferred at the hands of his alcoholic parents. It definitely makes caring for them in old age more difficult.
Ali says
December 1, 2009 at 8:52 pmDave recalls his wretched childhood including the torture, physical and mental abuse that he sufferred at the hands of his alcoholic parents. It definitely makes caring for them in old age more difficult.
Mary Janaitis says
December 3, 2009 at 9:31 amLinda,
I really like the snippets of wisdom you share and suspect you strike home often with messages like this one. You really have a gift for helping people deal with the aging process and varied issues…so get writing that book, Lady! The audience out there needs it.
Mary J.
Mary Janaitis says
December 3, 2009 at 9:31 amLinda,
I really like the snippets of wisdom you share and suspect you strike home often with messages like this one. You really have a gift for helping people deal with the aging process and varied issues…so get writing that book, Lady! The audience out there needs it.
Mary J.
Paul says
December 5, 2009 at 11:56 pmNice post & nice blog. I love both.
Paul says
December 5, 2009 at 11:56 pmNice post & nice blog. I love both.