When a parent dies you are often overwhelmed by either the tasks of putting a memorial service together or your own grief. Some of the activities of putting the memorial service together can actually help you with your grief process and bring a smile to your heart even if the tears are in your eyes.
A client of mine recently lost her mother. The mother had been living in her home receiving caregiving for 15 years from this working full time single mom/daughter. Mom was a stressor, but also a blessing – the absence of such a responsibility is another loss (a topic for another blog).
One of the healing gifts for this daughter was putting together a Memorial Service, and in doing so, she came up with a lovely idea that I would like to share with others. She put together a CD with all her mother’s favorite songs and gave this to everyone who came to the service. These were songs her mother sang to her and her brother as they were growing up. As I was listening to this music, I had a picture of this woman’s values and her pure joy in living – how lovely for everyone that had known the mother to get this same sense of her on a more intimate level – just by connecting to the lyrics that made her smile.
Grief is a very hard and trying process. Reaching into the positives of the life just ended and finding ways to share those positives with others is a way to say, “She lives in the hearts of all who knew her”.
May your grief be brief and may your memories always touch your heart with joy and love remembered.