In our society, we often greet people with “Hi how are you?” to which we’re expected to reply, “I’m well, how are you?” and we can move on. But what if we are not doing well? What if we are having a bad day, is it so wrong to admit that? Being honest and confronting our emotions is incredibly important to our mental health. We must be able to face the full spectrum of our feelings and thoughts, being careful to embrace the positive feelings and to acknowledge and face the negative ones.
Often, older adults experience feelings of depression or negativity, loneliness or unhappiness in some form. This is particularly common in folks with dementia. As caregivers, it is important to be able to not only ask “How are you doing”, but to be able to listen when folks express that they are not doing well. Below are some potential responses we can have to those we care for. By having engaging and caring conversations, we create a stronger bond between caregivers and the elderly, and as caregivers, we experience more fulfillment in our jobs or as support to loved ones.
Examples of questions:
-How are you feeling today?
-Is your day going okay for you?
-Are you feeling well (better?)?
-You’re looking good! Are you feeling pretty good?
-Are you okay?
Examples of responses to negative remarks:
-I’m sorry to hear that, do you want to talk about it?
-I understand. I hear you.
-You’re doing a good job.
-It’s okay to feel that way.
-What’s something you can do to help yourself feel better?
-What is one thing you can (or would like to) change?
-Would you like a hug/handshake? (when appropriate)
-What is something positive about today/right now/yourself?