A daughter I was working with called and asked how to get her mother to agree to go to a doctor appointment for a flu shot. Her mom has dementia of the Alzheimer’s variety and is starting to become paranoid. The daughter has spent the past 65 years reasoning with her mother, a retired attorney. She was having difficulty not giving her mother all the details about upcoming events, as she had done her entire life.
I had to tell her that the days of reasoning were over. She need now only tell her mother a limited amount of information. Over communication and details justifying an action only make those who are losing the ability to process information more paranoid or angry.
Instead, I told her to just tell her mother she was coming to take her for an outing and lunch. First, they “dropped in” at the doctor’s office. Her mother recognized it when she got there – but did not remember when the daughter tried to explain to her before. She successfully got her flu shot and a brief medical evaluation.
Immediately after the visit the daughter took her mother to lunch with no mention of the medical stop. Mom commented on what a wonderful time she had and the daughter called to thank me for the advice and the reduction of stress she was had been feeling.
View the video blog on this topic: Dementia and Appointments