I had been concerned about my mother’s increasing clutter of paper over the past three years and now I need to take over the managing of her affairs due to her stroke – my dining room table looks likes hers did! Hope the clutter police aren’t close by!
Taking over the paperwork of a family member can become a full time detective job and seems to take a football field to sort out all the unnecessary documents from those that need immediate attention or to be filed for future reference. What is that receipt for $2.50 for a senior club bingo card doing with a legal document that needs to be returned to her attorney? Why did she stop payment on a check for $25 to her church – maybe she didn’t like the sermon? And another stop payment for $7 to her doctor – doesn’t the bank charge us $25 to stop payment? Why does one need to keep a copy of every bill ever paid…and in that pile is one that was due last week!? Yikes…will I untangle this?
Interesting, messy and sometimes confusing but it is doable. The work is concrete and I don’t feel sad or angry going over the documents. It is a job an adult child of an aging parent could do from a distance. So, pack up that box of paper and send it off to your brother!
The hard part is seeing her changes and knowing she will never be the mother I had just a few months ago. But, despite my grief and having her project some of her anger unto me, I love her even more. I pray I can be kind and look for the sunshine in every minute I have with her. She was a good and kind mother – sweet and caring to all she has met. This doesn’t mean she didn’t gossip – but I don’t think in my entire life I saw her get angry with another adult and be less than a lady. What a legacy she has modeled for her heirs – better than financial resources is a legacy of kindness.