by Pam Ness
With the approach of Easter (March 27) and Passover (starting April 22), there is a lot to look forward to: the early blooms and breezes of spring, more daylight, and an opportunity to gather together with extended family to celebrate the holidays.
While the occasion may be joyous, holidays can contain difficult moments as we feel the loss remembering our loved ones who have passed away. Often the absence of someone special feels very pronounced when the rest of the family gathers together. This can be especially acute if the anniversary of the death occurred during that particular season or time of year.
Acknowledging our feelings of missing those who have passed away, especially in a shared space with loved ones, can be a healthy way to express and manage our feelings of sadness and loss. There are some simple ways that can help commemorate our deceased relatives during those times of celebration.
- Making a favorite dish of the one who passed away, or using a special recipe that the family member used to cook, can be a way to continue to build family traditions and memories, and include our loved ones who are no longer physically present.
- Lighting a memory candle at the table before the meal and having a moment of silence or saying a prayer can feel comforting. During the meal, family members can take turns around the table sharing a favorite memory of the loved one.
- Some families choose to leave an empty place setting at the table, as a show of respect for the departed, and a symbol that they will never be forgotten.
- Setting out favorite pictures in frames, or pulling out old photo albums to look over as a family can be a comfortable and enjoyable way to visit the past and cherish our loved one’s face. If our more recent photos are mostly digital, it can be therapeutic to previously take some time to create an album on Shutterfly that can be passed around the room.
- After the holiday meal, viewing old family videos can be a fun and relaxing way to revisit our cherished memories. It can be a great way to share family history with the youngest generation, and helps build a strong family culture.
There is no right way to grieve when remembering loved ones, and every family has their own unique dynamic. Communally remembering those who we love and miss can help us cope as a family unit. Holiday celebrations are a natural opportunity to show our love for those who are no longer with us, keep our family connections strong, and remind us that we are not alone in our grief.