It is hard, as adult children, to know – Is my Mother tired? Or, is she depressed? Or, is she just not feeling well in general?
Viewing our parents objectively is challenging. Parents often shield their children from negative thoughts, feelings, depression or discomfort.
In addition, hearing is often diminished and being in a busy environment can leave a person feeling “left out” or exhausted trying to take it all in. The spiral continues because as the older adult becomes more fatigued they are less able to assimilate stimulating surroundings. And on it goes!
With all we have to take care of as adult children, it is sometimes hard to remember that listening to what the older adult in our life is saying to us, both verbally and somatically, is key. Although a person may have loved large parties with lots of activity over the years, it is now helpful to watch for signs of weariness. A fixed gaze, slow responses and heavy eyelids are some of those indicators.
Social activities can be tiring for all of us! Seniors will sometimes decline invitations because they know they will “wear out” and have to be driven home early, thereby interrupting someone else’s festivities. Having a plan can help with this. Perhaps pick Mom up ½ hour before dinner with a plan for a 2-hour visit. Let her know that her ride is all set in both directions!
This provides an opportunity to make the most of the moments you share with the person you care for and focusing more on quality of time than quantity!