Visiting Mom on day 6 of her move into assisted living, she points to the bag of nicely folded laundry and says “Isn’t that nice, they did my laundry and it is free.” As you know, it is part of the rent but she sees it as a luxury. Mind you, my mother’s favorite household chore has always been to do the laundry.
At my house, when she folded clothes, they looked as if they had been ironed – even the socks! For most of you, this comment means she is pleasantly settling in and there is some truth in that.
However, from the daughter’s prospective, it is another step in my grieving for my mom before the stroke.
Just about 4 years ago, she was refusing to move to an independent senior community because they didn’t have a laundry room in the manors – that is how much she has enjoyed this activity most of us detest.
Mom said she needed more clothes from her home and asked for her jeans. She also wanted her phone book from her home so she could call her club friends. She is asking for these items realistically and not wanting to go home. Somehow I expected her to be saying she was fine and she could go back home but now she is very aware of her memory problems and says to me, “you’ll need to remind me about that event or appointment”.
I am going to get her a clock that says the day, date and month to help her keep track. Also, the way she coped at home was that
she looked at the daily paper for the date and then methodically tossed it out each evening. So, she asked me to get her a paper delivered – will do!
“Laundry is Free” and the daughter grieves just a little more and on we go to live one day at a time – looking for something to smile and laugh about during each visit.