What is “life-giving?” We are aware that in order to be a living creature, we all need air and substance (food and water) but the third and fourth elements will differ for each of us and, I believe, become more important as we age.
One is a belief in a higher power or a resolve in whatever one believes is the circle of life. This is inline with Erickson’s stages of life when he says, the last stage of development for us is to resolve the integrity vs. despair step. In simpler words, making peace with the whole of your life vs. longing for something that wasn’t or could never be for a myriad of reasons.
As I look at my mother’s life though, on Hospice, I see it was a simple life but she did accomplish that last Erickson task – and there is great integrity to the life she lived. I believe this is why she does not complain and is appreciative of every interaction – with “thanks” being expressed frequently.
The fourth element, which differs in each of us, is the environment we need to thrive. I mean both relational as well as the physical environments. I need times of complete quiet in my day. Days that are overfilled with “to-do’s” stress me and leave me anxious and actually interfere with sleep. However, I also long for the intimacy of spending quality time with my spouse, family and friends.
In my physical environment, I need nature but more specifically trees. And out of every window in my office and my home you can see trees. Why trees? I have no idea other than the fact that they are actually oxygen producing and stand tall during any weather. I also know that trees need to bend in order to be strong and over supporting them makes their trunk weak – just like people!
You each will need differing elements to be life-giving and, as you age, it will be important for you to keep that which gives your life meaning and importance in your everyday life.
Also when making decisions for others, remember to keep these four elements in the forefront and base your actions on what has been life-giving to this individual, not you – often they can be the same but, not necessarily.