Visiting a small group home this past weekend, I arrived when three seniors were just finishing their lunch meal, so I joined the conversation. The first one (a new resident) asked me if this was a “boarding house” and I answered in the affirmative about everyone having their own rooms. One of the ladies answered, “They give us good food, too.” The conversation then went to their memories not being as good as they used to be, but it really didn’t matter now.
The oldest, age 95, asked the youngest, 85, how old she is and the 85 year old, a retired teacher and graduate of a very prestigious university, asked the staff for paperwork that would show her age; she was pleased and surprised to know that she is 85. She was neither embarrassed about having to ask nor did any of the residents question her for not knowing her age.
Somehow the conversation went to growing up on a California ranch. The 95 year old asked the 85 year old what they grew on the ranch and the answer was horses and grapes. She was then asked if she raced horses and she answered, “No” she just rode them, but not in “shows.”
A few minutes later this fractured, yet serious conversation, focused on those grapes, with the eldest asking, what color the grapes were, “Purple, burgundy?” “No”, the 85 year old answered, “Just plain grapes that were tied to wires.” She continued and said that when the grapes were ready to be picked, men would come pick them, put them in a big pot, add sugar and we would have “pickled grapes”.
I joined in some of the conversation and could not keep from smiling and being pleased that they were able to have a
conversation, despite the memory deficits and/or dementia. Even though at times the conversation was disjointed, and sometimes they were not able to find the “correct words,” they were all very respectful, yet curious, with all of them willing to ask questions without questioning the answer. It was actually very uplifting and I was honored with the spirit, authenticity and just being in the moment with this trio of souls.
Being in the moment for the sake of the moment is just something we don’t take the time to do as often as we should. We all get caught up in the “to do” lists of our lives.
Have a glass of “pickled grapes” and savor the moment.