When visiting a small residential care home to see a client I came at coffee hour and they were doing a sing along. One of the residents is very impaired with a dementia and can’t talk in complete sentences. Since I had prior experience running a day program for those with dementia years ago, I am very comfortable talking with her and responding to facial expressions and some of the words.
This woman, who is not my client, seems to always want to talk with me – I guess “dementia” is the one foreign language I have mastered! And, since she is not a family member, I have no history with her and we just have the moment of connecting words, facial expressions and feelings.
What truly surprised me on this most recent visit is this woman who can’t speak in a complete sentence or hold a thought very long knew every word to the tunes of our “grandparents” – she didn’t miss a verse of “You are my Sweetheart” or “Take me out to the Ball Game.”
The memory for music is held in a different part of our brain than memory and language. I have been thinking maybe we all need to put the names of those we love to a tune so we can sing it all our days.
Without a memory, you might not have words but you can still connect in ways that lift the spirit. Try “old” tunes to pass the time with those you love that might have a dementia like “Alzheimer’s”.