Why does the spouse try to do it all without hiring help or allowing others to assist? Is it the “for better or worse” vows of the marriage ceremony? Is it that they are fearful they will be judged by others if they share the care? Or, do they feel guilty if they self-care?
Spouses often end up with stress and other health related issues and may die before the person they are caring for. How might professionals or family members help?
Often the only time a spouse will finally give in is if someone in the same situation tells them their story and convinces them of the importance of self-care. Sometimes a “caregiving inventory” will help them self diagnose the need for some self care. Support groups are great places to get this type of advice and direction.
Geriatric Care Managers may be able to shine a light on the need for self-care that family members can’t. It is often hard for a parent to take advice from an adult child. Also, the family doctor can stress the importance of respite breaks for the caregiving spouse. Regardless of the source of the convincing, self-care is paramount for those who are acting as caregivers for others.