As our loved ones age, our relationships can become strained. Stepping into the role of a care provider can cause stress on both sides. It may bring up negative emotions or simply distract from the activities you once enjoyed together. Regardless of how much care your older loved one needs on a daily basis, you can always improve your circumstances and have a better relationship with aging family members.
Tip #1. Schedule Quality Time Together
Life is a busy business! It’s easy to become distracted by a daily routine, and sometimes it’s hard to fit in anything except the items on your “to do” list. But that’s just all the more reason to carve out quality time together! Schedule some time — at least once a week — to simply enjoy each other’s company. It’s one of the best ways to have a better relationship with aging family members.
I have an older grandparent who is in her 90’s, but is still capable of taking short walks. On Saturdays, in the quietness of the morning, we take brief walks together around her neighborhood. Not only is this good for my loved one’s health, mentally and physically, but it’s good for mine as well. Spending half an hour listening to my grandparent talk about her upcoming week or the neighbors’ cookie baking helps us connect as family.
Although many of our aging loved ones may not be able to take walks, there are plenty of other ways to spend quality time together. A game of cards, a scenic drive or sharing a meal together are all wonderful ways to strengthen your bond. Just unplug, put your “to do” list aside, and savor the moment with your loved one.
Tip #2. Communication is Key
Clear communication is vital to a better relationship with aging family members. Remember, the aging process can be frustrating for everyone, not just caregivers. Your loved one needs to know what’s going on in their life, and why, to the best of their ability. And you need to understand their thoughts and feelings. Also, if your loved one has declining vision, hearing loss or memory impairment, it’s extra important to make sure you understand each other.
It’s also vital that you maintain a clear line of communication with your loved one’s care managers, health care providers and any other individuals who may be assisting them. It’s a good idea to have regular “check-in” meetings and leave lists for their care manager. This ensures your loved one is receiving the best care possible.
Tip #3. Set Boundaries
Finally, a good way to have a better relationship with aging family members is to set boundaries. Remember to practice self-care and take time out for yourself. Often, we can become so wrapped up in looking after our aging loved ones that we neglect our own health and other relationships. Make sure you have a healthy support team of your own and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. A care management professional can often step in and help you find balance.
You Can Have a Better Relationship with Aging Family Members
Your love, support and time are beautiful gifts to give to an aging loved one. Understanding the changes that happen over time when you are helping care for a senior is vital to a better relationship with aging family members.
By creating quality time together, remembering the importance of clear communication and taking care of your own needs, you can make a huge positive change in both your lives. Sometimes, it’s the little things that lead us to a better relationship with aging family members.