Do you share caregiving duties with another family member? Do you give the primary caregiver in your family time off? If you answered yes to one of these two questions, you are not alone. Thousands of families are providing care for an aging relative. Up to 70% of all care is provided by families in the Untied States.
If you work all week and then get mom or dad for the two days you are off, it can be stressful if you have not had any training or are unsure of how to communicate effectively with someone who has a dementia. Actually the latter could make your two days extremely stressful if you don’t know the tricks of effective communication.
A few helpful hints to being a short time (or relief) family caregiver:
1) Check in with the person who was providing care the day before to see what the issues or behavior was – so you will know if something is new and warrants a call to a doctor.
2) Take a class on how to communicate effectively with someone who has a dementia (we offer monthly free classes at Eldercare). This can save you hours of frustration.
3) Have a routine that is similar to the routine during the other days of caregiving – times of meals, medications, walks, favorite TV shows or movies.
4) Have a plan to deal with boredom or increased anxiety – such as a car ride to watch boats coming and going from a dock or children playing at a playground or to a vineyard or orchard.
5) If possible, ask the person you are caring for to help you – fold towels, laundry or napkins – cut coupons from the Sunday paper. These tasks make the care receiver feel helpful. Don’t be fussy – what ever they do, say, “Thanks – that saved me lots of time”!
6) Pets can be entertaining and soothing – but also, can be more work. So use caution when adding pets to your home or that of your parent.
7) Try not to correct misinformation unless the person is at risk – just have a response that is non-committal – like, “That is interesting.” Or “Oh, really?”. If conversations get too crazy, just change the subject – bird baths or feeders are great for leading someone away from a stuck place to watch the birds.
These are just generic ideas – each individual and family might have different issues and an hour with a “geriatric coach” otherwise known as a “care manager” might help you design activities that lighten your load and reduce stress and anxiety for everyone.