2009

Baby Boomers Trading Retirement Leisure for Parent Care?

Posted in Age Related Issues, Care Management, Future Trends, Uncategorized on December 29, 2009

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

This new decade will bring many of the 76 million Baby Boomers who approach retirement, with the dreams and visisons of travel, volunteerism, and enjoying family redirected and derailed, to the reality of aging parents and their increasing dependency.

It is my recommendation that every pre-retirement class, workshop or planner cover, for the aging baby boomer generation how to find a balance between parent care and actualizing their dreams. The later years also bring progressive chronic illnesses to baby boomers, who on the whole are healthier than their parents at retirement, but never the less have a body that is aging or a genetic package that can’t be redesigned (or at least not this year)!

So, with our own aging and our own dreams of what retirement holds for each of us comes the question, how do I take care of my parents and still have fulfilling relationships and enjoy the “golden” years?

It could change the course of your “golden years” to find an experienced counselor or Professional Certified Geriatric Care Manager to review a checklist of how to find balance in life. This can go a long way toward life satisfaction. After such a meeting, you will need to commit to self-care that will help prevent burnout, resentment and even depression. You should also have someone, a friend, spouse or counselor who you talk with for accountability – it is so easy to be pulled into the drama and needs of aging family members.

Remember, balance is not eliminating your ability or willingness to support and care for your parents – but it means finding that time to get out on the golf course, take a hike, play with the grandkids or learn a new language.

If you live in the San Francisco Bay Area we are here for you. If you live in another part of the country send us a query and we will find someone for you to talk with.

Happy Trails to you!

Elders Making Challenging Choices

Posted in Age Related Issues, Blog, Care Management, Uncategorized on December 22, 2009

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

It has been my honor, over the past 25 years, to help people make hard decisions such as giving up a home of 50 years for a retirement community or a downsized condo. One comes to this decision from various paths; economic reasons, health concerns, loss of spouse or wanting to relocate near adult children. Sometimes, just because home maintenance is too much and the senior wants to travel or have less of the “have to do” chores in their life.

What I do know is that people who are socially engaged live longer and happier lives according to research. That individuals who have purpose and meaning in their lives are healthier than their peers without purpose. I also know that people who have had major losses through death of spouses or friends that continue to have meaningful lives live longer as well.

So, if you or someone you love is facing this dilemma you should consider having at least one hour with a Professional Geriatric Care Manager who can help you with your list of pros and cons before making a major move. It is often beneficial for the elder to have this conversation with an objective professional; so the end result is your decision and not influenced by family members’ or friend’s value systems.

More and more Baby Boomers are thinking long range and looking at options early in their “autumn” years. Better to be prepared than have to make decisions in a crisis.

Dementia and the Holidays

Posted in Age Related Issues, Alzheimer's, Blog, Care Management, Dementia and Memory Loss, Holidays, Uncategorized on December 15, 2009

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

An individual with a dementia can be easily overwhelmed by all of the activities of holiday celebrations and become overly anxious, depressed or more confused.

Most individuals with dementia do relatively well with set routines and naturally pull back from extra activities that might tax their memory or set them up for failure. Sometimes a refusal of an invitation that was previously enjoyed can be an early “red flag” for families that something is changing in their elder family member’s cognition.

A few tips to keep the holidays enjoyable:

1) Set up one holiday decoration in your family member’s home as a family activity. Don’t mention that you are doing it because he or she can’t.

2) Tell him or her not to worry about gifts, you will assist them in finding gift cards – give an excuse that the kids like to shop for themselves or it is so challenging to find the right sizes. Help him or her sign cards and stuff the gift cards into them. Do some of your cards at the same time.

3) Family gatherings can overwhelm and loud noise can increase agitation and anxiety. So, if you are bringing mom or dad over for a holiday meal – pick them up just before and return him or her right after dessert. However, if he or she is enjoying the company of little ones, play it by observation – the key is be aware of their behavior.

4) Your holiday gifts might include a phone that is easy to use, sweatsuits that are easy to dress in, and maybe a “housekeeper” once a week that really is a caregiver that can expand her time to do more as mom or dad needs more help.

5) Reduce alcohol use or eliminate it from your celebrations – alcohol only complicates and endangers those with dementias.

6) Try to reduce the sugar laden treats as well – it is easy to be over expose to the treats of the season. Have lots of fresh fruits available.

Future Trends in Visionary Baby Boomer Living Arrangements

Posted in Age Related Issues, Blog, Care Management, Caregiving, Future Trends, Uncategorized on December 8, 2009

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

With the Baby Boomers aging what will the future hold? Will they want what they want right now – instant gratification? Some may choose more commune-like living – different from assisted living – more self-directed and self-governed living and create a new way to live. They would have more control over menu planning and structured activities or entertainment. And of course, all pets would be welcome, too!

What would that look like for you? I see four or five condos linked together with a common room or large family room for art projects, exercise and shared meals. Each individual or couple having their own living quarters, maybe even their own patio or small raised gardens as well as a larger garden. A shared housekeeper and maybe a few shared meals each week. As individuals aged in place, they could share a caregiver to assist with personal care and, if couples needed respite from the care of an ill spouse, they could support one another with short respite care.

I think that Professional Geriatric Care Management is a must for aging positively and pro-actively; I envision a Care Manager spending some time each of these pods of condos. This professional could run community meetings, support those who need support and see that new candidates for each group were appropriate. Also, the Care Manager would advocate for the residents when medical issues presented themselves.

Individuals would “buy in” as is common now in other cooperatives and pay a monthly fee for the common area, housekeeper, garden upkeep and the Professional Geriatric Care Manager. I realize I left out all the possible negative “what if’s”…but visioning is just visioning. Aging in place my way!

Aging Parents and Childhood Abuse

Posted in Age Related Issues, Blog, Care Management, Uncategorized on December 1, 2009

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

I frequently come across individuals who are children of a negligent or abusive parent. The adult children are now dealing with elder care and have mixed feelings that are both conflictual and challenging.

It is hard to sacrifice time and energy and even dollars to someone who just wasn’t there for you. The feelings of resentment, anger, disdain and even guilt will color your ability to provide care. Sometimes these adult children try to overdo to get the love they missed in their youth only to be disappointed yet another time. However, there are often heartfelt stories of reconciliation and forgiveness leading to a more authentic, loving relationship. Help is needed to sort out one’s ability to care if your journey as a child included less than positive parenting.

What should one do if they face this issue? A few suggestions are:

1) Find a local support group for adult children of aging parents.

2) Seek professional counseling.

It is most important to recognize and acknowledge your own needs in order to get through the aging process with the best possible outcome for you and your loved ones.

Caregiving- Is it the Right Profession for You?

Posted in Blog, Caregiving, Uncategorized on November 17, 2009

By Sandi Gunnet, BS, Director of Staffing and Recruiting

Most of the applicants I interview tell me their story. The story usually involves a relative or close friend who is older and is experiencing the challenges of aging. Often in the story, some wonderful experiences are related and the individuals want to give back to someone who helped them to become the person he or she is today.

Many of those who choose caregiving as a career, do so because they are called to this profession. Whether by the personal experience of seeing a loved one age and wishing that there was more that he or she could do, or by choice, sometimes as a second career in a challenging economy, either path works. Often, stay-at-home moms, come to us and say they have taken care of their kids, and to some extent their parents, and realize they have many appropriate skills. Some come to us fresh from CNA/LVN/RN schooling to get hands on experience in a companion care environment.

In today’s market, one thing is certain, people are still aging and many need help. The model at Eldercare Services is client-centered, we strive to go where the client is so that his or her independence can be retained whenever possible. Sometimes, we care for people in their homes, in a facility, and throughout the different stages of their aging process. Our caregivers come from a variety of backgrounds and the perfect recipe is: dedication to seniors, compassion, a willingness to learn and be open and the desire to be part of a team.

Our caregivers work as companions. The ability to understand those struggling with forms of dementia and physical challenges is essential. With an open mind one can learn a lot from our Professional Geriatric Care Managers and from the training that Eldercare Services provides to appropriate candidates. Some clients require just a few hours of help and others have live-in 24-hour care.

If you can communicate clearly, have no criminal background, a clean driving record, a reliable automobile, automobile insurance and are in good health, you may be a candidate for a career in care giving.

How to apply for a job in a professional manner

I receive hundreds of resumes a month from those looking to begin or advance a career working in caregiving or administration for our company. The challenge is to read all of the resumes and choose the best candidates. I am often asked how I do this.

The first thing I recommend is exploring the company’s website. By looking at the website, if one exists, you can gain great knowledge about the philosophy, mission and vision statements of the company. This also indicates an interest in the company and what their focus is on. The second thing I recommend is reading the job description clearly. If the job ad states to refer to something in the memo line do so, it is a good way to prove to the prospective employer that you can follow directions. Next, be sure to have a reasonable email address. Think about what the human resources representative may see when they open up your e-mail- partygirl@anywhere.com might not look as responsible as Gunnetts@anywhere.com. Be sure, if there is a cover letter that it is addressed to the correct individual and everything is spelled properly. Showing attention to detail might get you noticed. Using an appropriate readable font is a great idea. Colors of print and flashing lights probably are going to be more annoying than creative depending upon the job you are applying for. Finally, let the company know about your education, your job experience including months and dates of work and contact information for supervisors.

Be honest and straightforward. A willingness to learn is more attractive than someone who is not truthful. In a challenging economy, the best way to be noticed by recruiters and companies is attention to detail, following directions, and selling your self without compromising integrity or professionalism.

Making the Last 10 Years Like the First 10 Years

Posted in Age Related Issues, Care Management, End of Life, Uncategorized on November 11, 2009

Professional Geriatric Care Manager Supervisor Eileen Zagelow, BA, CMC

A client once told me that life would be better if the last ten years were lived first and the first ten years were lived last.

Since that experience I feel challenged to provide some sort of delight to the clients we serve. One of the most satisfying ways to do this as a Care Manager is to relieve families and friends of some of their functional duties. This allows the caregiver time, energy and opportunity to provide some delightful experiences of their own. Supporting contentment, companionship and the occasional high is very gratifying to both the giver and receiver.

The moments don’t have to be very big, very long or even very often. Exhilarating and/or meaningful should be the goal. Families are often too exhausted to find energy for such pursuits. By handing over the controls at least for a while the caregiver can replenish themselves and “pay it forward”.

Some of the following experiences come to my mind. Enjoying a 90^th birthday cruising along in a convertible, top down, complete with sunglasses and baseball hat. (Of course normal precautions need to be employed!) A visit to Pier 39 with a ride on the carousel. A drive through the wine country or over the Golden Gate Bridge. For some, the sheer pleasure of sand running through the toes is a wonderful time.

We create happiness when we feel alive and blessed ourselves. Sharing the burden is immeasurable in the rewards it reaps.

Memory Loss and Aging Parents

Posted in Age Related Issues, Alzheimer's, Blog, Dementia and Memory Loss, Uncategorized on November 3, 2009

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

When one parent is exhibiting signs of memory loss the other parent can often cover up for the spouse who is losing the ability to care for themselves. Adult children are often surprised when they hear about a diagnosis they never saw, sometimes because of denial and at other times because the well parent was doing such a good job of making excuses or covering for the ill parent.

Often this is because of the well parent’s denial and fear of facing the truth of the pending loss. Other times both parents might be experiencing a dementia and they need each other to maintain their independence. It is fascinating for me as a professional, to see how we humans struggle to stay independent for fear of losing control. Are we not really all interdependent? Don’t we depend on others to produce our food, manufacture our clothing, build structures, secure our financial resources etc? Would it not be a better world if we were all much more comfortable with the phrase “inter-dependence” instead of struggling to hold onto “independence” even to our own detriment?

Often adult children have a difficult time seeing the dementia for some of the same fears around loss and grief. It is not easy to experience the loss of a parent in a way that robs them of self and leaves an empty shell of what was a beloved, intelligent being. Rest assured that love can be experienced and expressed into the later stages of dementia and we can all learn the importance of just being in the moment – because truly that is all there really is.

Meeting the Nutritional Needs of Seniors

Posted in Age Related Issues, Blog, Dementia and Memory Loss, Uncategorized on October 27, 2009

by Janice M. Kelly B.S.N., Care Manager, D.S.D.

Food provides the energy and nutrients you need to be healthy. Nutrients include proteins, carbohydrates, fats, vitamins, minerals and water. For elders, there is the risk of osteoporosis, high blood pressure, heart disease and Diabetes. As you age, you might need less energy, but you still need just as many of the nutrients in food. To get them, here are some suggestions:

Choose a variety of healthy foods
Avoid empty calories, which are foods with lots of calories but few nutrients, such as chips, cookies, soda and alcohol
Pick foods that are low in cholesterol and fat, especially saturated and trans fats
Use herbs for cooking and little or no salt

Eat many different colors and types of vegetables and fruits. Make sure at least half of your grains are whole grains. Eat only small amounts of solid fats, oils, and foods high in sugars. Limit saturated fat (found mostly in foods that come from animals) or trans fats (found in foods like some margarines, shortening, cookies, and crackers).

Older folks often comment, “Nothing tastes good”. The reality is that as we age the taste buds on the tongue begins to dissolve. Also, the sense of smell begins to diminish.

Cooking with herbs is one suggestion, easier to smell and taste the herbs. Many seniors are on medications, which may cause some stomach distress. Small frequent servings may help. In addition, some people do well with 5 to 6 small servings.

“Finger” foods are great for those with memory issues. A sandwich, with lean meat, cheese, lettuce, Cucumber and tomato on whole wheat bread is a very healthy choice, utilizing several food groups. Cut the sandwich into finger food sized slices, which are easier and more appealing. Adding a milkshake made with yogurt, blueberries, and banana is a very healthy idea.

Breakfast foods, such as a slice of bacon, scrambled eggs and toast can also be cut into finger size foods and may be more appealing.

The Food Pyramid recommends, high protein, lean meat, fish and poultry for elders. Of course, “unlimited” servings of fruits and vegetables are also included. Dark green leafy vegetables and the red and orange vegetables and fruits are antioxidant rich, which can fight disease and keep the immune system healthy. Some examples are, lettuce, spinach, kale, mustard greens, turnips, yams, carrots, and squash. In addition, oranges, blueberries, black berries, plums and the like are great to include in your diet.

For bone health, consume plenty of dairy products-

milk, yogurt, cottage cheese, cheese, etc. Older bones become brittle and fragile. Dairy products provide calcium and vitamin D to help counteract the process.

Include plenty of fiber in the diet also. Eat cooked dry beans, peas, and lentils often. Leave skins on your fruit and vegetables when possible. Choose whole fruit over fruit juice. Whole-wheat products are considered the healthiest for the senior such as bread, cereals and pasta.

Serving size: what is a serving? One serving of vegetables like a baked potato should be about the size of a “small fist”. 3 ounces of cooked lean meat should be the size of a

pack of cards. Milk, yogurt and other dairies should be teacup sized.

3 ounces of meat, poultry, or fish = deck of cards

½ cup of fruit, rice, pasta, or ice cream = ½ baseball

1 cup of salad greens = baseball

1-1/2 ounces of cheese = 4 stacked dice

1 teaspoon of butter or margarine = 1 dice (or die)

2 tablespoons of peanut butter = ping pong ball

1 cup of flaked cereal or a baked potato = fist

HAPPY HEALTHY NUTRITION!

Stroke Identification

Posted in Age Related Issues, Blog, Uncategorized on October 20, 2009

Founder and Executive Director Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC

Many of us have heard stories about someone who didn’t pay attention to the signs of a stroke and later died. Recently, there has been a story circulating in our community of a woman who fell at a party but blamed it on a tripping. She denied medical attention at the time but later that night had a major stroke and passed away. Could the friends or family have done anything? They feel guilty and grieve their loss. It is hard to blame when the individual of concern denies interventions – but we can ask a few basic questions.

We, who are non-medical family members or community professionals, usually want to be safe and not sorry. So, along with the story of the woman who tripped at a party comes a checklist of four items to ask someone you suspect might have had a stroke. Sometimes it is so obvious you just call 911 and let the EMT evaluate the individual. Other times, when the person of concern denies medical attention, you can ask these questions:

1) Ask the individual to Smile.

2) As the person to Talk – just a simple coherent sentence.

3) Ask them to Raise Both Arms

If they have trouble with any of these three tasks call 911 immediately and describe the symptom.

EASY to remember because S-T-R -first 3 letters of “stroke” remind you what to ask.

4) A new sign is to also ask the person to stick out their tongue. If it is “crooked”, it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke.

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this information sends it to 10 people; you can bet that a least one life will be saved.