Well, for the past 27 years, I have been “preaching” to family caregivers the importance of self-care and now I am experiencing first-hand how it does work. Clinically, I know it is important to have a balance in life and that we must find time to exercise, eat well and nurture relationships in order to have the energy to care from a “full cup”.
Providing either direct care or care from some distance demands time and energy that exhumes both emotional and physical energy. Since my mother had her stroke, I had to take over her financial matters, her medical coordination, overseeing her old home, her new housing adjustment and, maybe most of all, reassurance that she is loved.
My brother who lives the closest is a big help with things like taking care of her car – such as dealing with the DMV and getting the car smog checked so it can be registered. He also visits frequently which gives me some peace of mind in these early days of her adjusting to assisted living. He is also good at being sure the cat litter is cleaned and some of the clutter is taken from her apartment when necessary.
However, the bulk of bill paying, getting legal paperwork notarized and medical appointments fall to me. The reality is that this takes at least one to two hours every day – mind you I still run a company full time and have clients to meet and advocate for (so much easier doing for them than for me)!
Back to the importance of self-care – two weeks ago I had a massage and it took all the pain from my right shoulder and upper back! Just today I had a facial that came with a foot soak, hand and foot massage. Well, I am not sure if it is me surrendering my body to another for therapeutic touch or if it is just time away from the computer, home and phone – but, whatever it is – it works.
So, mind you, I will increase the amount of time I tell family caregivers they need to find ways to be pampered and never refuse an invitation for fun or enjoyment. These small segments of time are what allow us to care from a full cup and not feel resentful.
Massages and facials were not part of my routine unless I was on a vacation or at a conference. But, the lesson today is that as long as I have to provide or oversee the care of another I will make it a point to have at least one pampering session a month.
You might be saying that you can’t afford to do this but my answer is you can’t afford not to. Remember schools of massage often have very low cost opportunities – there is a way to find self-care. You need to know this is the only way you can give to another – if your batteries are re-charged.
Maggie Dow Michelitch says
June 3, 2011 at 3:15 pmYes Linda for ever we need to care for yourselves. You need to tell your staff the same message. See you soon. Love Maggie
Maggie Dow Michelitch says
June 3, 2011 at 3:15 pmYes Linda for ever we need to care for yourselves. You need to tell your staff the same message. See you soon. Love Maggie
ninjagb says
June 3, 2011 at 5:42 pmHi Linda
I Love You
Sincerly
Gary Bidwell
ninjagb says
June 3, 2011 at 5:42 pmHi Linda
I Love You
Sincerly
Gary Bidwell