I sit listening to my mother snore – wondering, is this the trip she doesn’t return from? This is the 8th hospital visit in 13 months and she is almost 90 years old. I need to be realistic; this is my field of expertise and I know what the consequences are of her many diagnoses. Yet I can’t get that picture out of my mind of her walking into my office yesterday with one of my staff who had just taken her to a medical appointment for me since I couldn’t attend because I had a speaking engagement.
She was so happy to see me and the other staff. She always gets a certain grin that tells me she is proud of my achievements – it is a grin like no others. Who can give you that unconditional approval like a mother? Is this what I will miss – it feels self-centered to even think this because I know I will miss her for her always helpful advice and her deep faith in a loving God. Not to mention her love for all of her family.
She is a fighter and will not give in so I will stand beside her and help her understand her options and advocate for her at every step on this slippery journey.
All of us need advocates for, without them, our history might not be conveyed in ways that assist the medical team to treat appropriately. We also need advocates to see we can be gently ushered unto our next life, based on our values.
Being the guide when the ultimate outcome is loss and grief isn’t for the faint of heart but this is the role I play in mom’s life now, and it is an honor. I am fortunate she was, and is, my mother.
Thank you, kind and considerate medical providers who work in the ER!
Maggie Shaposs says
February 14, 2012 at 1:08 pmLinda my prayers are with you! Maggie
Maggie Shaposs says
February 14, 2012 at 1:08 pmLinda my prayers are with you! Maggie