While I reassure my mother that she has me to be her memory, every time I repeat information that I told her yesterday, it seems to hit a raw nerve and I grieve just a little more (the tears still well up). It is hard to see this from a parent who was always on top of everything her 4 children, 11 grandchildren and 8 great-grandchildren were doing.
I am always smiling when I reassure her when she calls with a question that I might have answered a few hours ago or yesterday. I am happy that she can find my phone number and make the call. So, when memory wanes with those we love, we need to find joy in the small things – like receiving a phone call.
I know she is well cared for and safe in her assisted living environment but every so often, when I see her looking great with her hair fixed just the way she has always wore it, her clothes matching and looking smart, I think just maybe she will recover and be able to return to her home. Then I get smacked with a call from someone who says they visited her but Mom can’t recall the visit. Or hearing that she told my sister-in-law how cute her apartment is and asked if had she seen it before? In actuality, she visits my mother about two times a week! Well, Linda, I tell myself, sometimes you think those magical, wishful thoughts and you have 27 years experience working with clients like your mom – this is the reality of mom’s 89th year, she has a dementia.
Dementia, from strokes or from Alzheimer’s, takes our family members away from us, one brain cell at a time. It is so hard to witness – yet, should I not be happy that she is in the “moment” and very content with her new home? Yes, for that, I am. But, my moments are sometimes sad now (31 days past the stroke). I know I will find my way to acceptance but, like others, not without a grieving process.
Maggie Dow Michelitch says
May 24, 2011 at 2:18 pmOh Linda I am praying for you and your Mom. It is so hard as I went thru the same with my Mom. Keep your spirits high you are doing the
best you can. Bruce is there. Take Care Love Maggie Dow Michelitch.
Maggie Dow Michelitch says
May 24, 2011 at 2:18 pmOh Linda I am praying for you and your Mom. It is so hard as I went thru the same with my Mom. Keep your spirits high you are doing the
best you can. Bruce is there. Take Care Love Maggie Dow Michelitch.